Let us read some Dear Letters

Dear humans who put coats 
and sweaters on cats and dogs,

It's called fur.

Sincerely, cats and dogs

Dear Teacher,

Please tell me how I answered the 
opinion based question wrong.

Sincerely, Not sure you know what opinion 
means.

Dear Muffins,

It's not that you're not one of us. 
It's just that you're the ugly ones.

Sincerely, Cupcakes.

Dear 0,

You really let yourself go.

Sincerely, 8.

Dear Fork,

I understand that we haven't spoken since 
I ran away with dish, but I thought you
 should know that you have a son.
 His name is spork. He has your hair.

Sincerely, Spoon.

Dear crunchy leaves,

Please don't take this personally, 
but I'm going out of my way
 to crush you.

Sincerely, Anonymous.

Dear Power Strip,

Whore!

Sincerely, Wall Socket.

Dear the 3rd grade,

We don't actually use cursive.

Sincerely, a college student.

Dear Cedric Diggory,

Vampires don't sparkle.
 20 points from Hufflepuff!

Sincerely, Snape.